In life, there are few things we honestly have to accept, in my opinion. In fact, maybe there's nothing we have to accept. We can deny and refuse our lives and nobody can force us into believing or coming to terms with anything. With this said, there are a few things that we probably should accept. Death is one of them. I don't want to be one of those people who walks around believing her goldfish is just "sleeping". But this topic is over played and inconsistently talked over. Something I've been struggling with coming to terms with is moving on.
For some people, moving on is simple, cut and dry. You graduate, you break up with your girlfriend, you lose your job; no big deal. You'll just keep going on. Because lost opportunities and missed dreams are just a matter of life. And yes, that's very true. Extremely true. Then why is it so hard for some of us? We get stuck in a cycle of grief and bereavement; concerned only with the fact that we missed something. But why do we care so much? WHY? Human nature maybe. maybe accepting something is over is almost as if to say, "well that was a nice little memory, what's next?". We wanted it to last. We wanted whatever great friendship, job, or whatever to be a consistent. Because something ended never smells so sweet. It fades and becomes the woodwork of our lives.
Recently I read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis about the loss of his wife. At one point he's considering how to move on from her death and start anew, or at least find a less painful way of life aside from grieving. He remarks that, "For this fate would seem to me the worst of all, to reach a state in which my years of love and marriage should appear in retrospect a charming episode- like a holiday- that had briefly interrupted my interminable life and returned me to normal, unchanged. And then it would come to seem unreal- something so foreign to the usual texture of my history that I could almost believe it had happened to someone else." It's difficult to say, but this is what events become in our lives. Past pieces of our existence. We can't go back, and even if we are given a second chance, it is not the same because the first was a distinct period of time, beginning and end. As will the second chance later be known as. A time and a period in our lives.
I suppose I'm sounding rather grim, to say that we must accept that past is past and moving on is our way of survival, but there is always hope. Especially because my audience here, in front of glowing computer screens, is composed of young adults and teenagers. To quote Zac Efron (yes Kaitlyn is quoting Zac Efron... no one is above it) in 17 Again, "When you're young everything feels like the end of the world. But it's not; it's just the beginning." It's so simple, and so true. The opportunities before us are brighter and bigger than we can imagine. This idea is only to be put at "tested and true", because you can only understand the truth behind it once you experience it. Leaving high school is not the end of the world. Your boyfriend dumping you is not the end of the world. Losing your job is not the end of the world. It's just the beginning. And how much more lucky or blessed can we expect to be?
Moving on may be a state of mind, or it may be a challenge to overcome. Whichever way you want to look at it, it's never nearly as difficult in retrospect. If we ceaselessly strive simply for the best life we can find, maybe it won't matter so much that that better life requires losing some things along the way. They may become memories, but don't be sad, just remember that even if the reality of events and moments leave you, you were blessed enough to have them in the beginning.
After all this, for you I pray there may always be hope waiting around the corner for you. Whether it be acceptance of expiration dates or moving on to something better. Whatever God may bring you, may it become the best in the way you embrace it.
-Kaitlyn
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